bureaucracy sucks. I blame paul.

miyuki got her visa. yay! it took over four hours. there was maybe ten minutes of actual work involved.

appointment was at 10. we got there a bit early. I didn't get breakfast. this was a mistake.

at 10:30, they finally call her up. she gives them her paperwork, they get all that sorted out. a quick trip down the hall to the cashier, return with the receipt. then back to her seat. total time, about three minutes.

11:15, they call her up for her electronic fingerprinting. this took thirty seconds.

a little after noon, we get called up for the "interview"... answer a few questions, she signs her life away, and we're told to return at 2pm to pick up the visa.

we went and got some lunch at a japanese place. she got really good katsu, I had marginal at best sushi. we wandered around a bit more, she cashed her paycheque, we got some gelato (mango gelato is the greatest invention EVER).

get back to the consulate about 2:10. my logic was they told us "after 2" and they'd been horrendously late on everything, so why bother showing up at 2 on the dot? I'm not allowed in the consulate this time (some treatment of its own citizens, eh?), so I wait out front reading my book. she comes down at 2:30 with passport in hand. the visa is not what I expected...

they actually fed one of the passport pages into a machine. it scored the outer edge with an intricate border, and it's printed and embossed directly onto the page. several colours and patterns and shit. it looks quite cool.

it's now official that she'll be moving to the states next month. woot.

this could only happen to me...

the application for a marriage license isn't exactly designed for people in my situation. it requires the signature of both parties to be notarised or signed in the presence of the deputy auditor. seeing as miyuki and I want to get hitched as soon as she moves down here, we can't exactly wait for her to get here, apply in person and then wait the three days for the license to take effect. this means we have to get it done beforehand, and the office to apply for the license is only open on thursdays.

my dad's a notary tho. so I filled out the paperwork, had miyuki sign it, and sent it down to my dad, abusing our interoffice mail system. I left little sticky flags where he had to notarise it, and figured all shoudl be cool. he'll give me the benefit of the doubt without witnessing us sign the thing...

problem is, he stamped his notary seal over the sticky flag. and dated the thing JUNE 27 instead of july 27. I doubt this is going to fly.

and now I'm noticing miyuki hasn't actually SIGNED the bloody thing yet anyway. I was going to have her do it this weekend. which will make applying for the damn thing tomorrow somewhat difficult. I'll be in anchorage next thursday, and can't do it then either.

sigh. at least this means I have time to re-do it properly. it's just going to be a giant ass-pain trying to get this handled thursday the 11th for a wedding monday the 15th. there's NO margin of error at that point.

argh.

and then my day REALLY turned to shit...

got my itinerary for alaska... I'm gonna be on the hook for over $600 before I ever eat. $53 a day for a hyundai accent. can't believe they're charging $53 a day for a $8000 car. and then the hotel... $153 a night for best western. and I've gotta pay for all of this myself, and then get reimbursed. by the time I factor in gas, parking at the airport, food and all this, they're gonna be cutting me a cheque for like $900. which would be well and good if I could put all of this on a credit card. I can't. I don't have any. instead it's coming out of my savings account.

also got another shit call from GMAC about the ex-wife's car. I told them to just repo the fucking car. I can't believe she's being that irresponsible. they've sent it to collections, so I'm boned either way. at least a repo would REALLY hurt her. hope she likes walking to work through that skank-ass ghetto she lives in.

so yeah, it's not been the greatest morning thus far...

more fun with idiot coworkers.

yesterday one of our drivers got into a minor traffic accident. a truck tried to pass him and clipped his heated mirror, shattering it. because it will cost about $100 to replace, the driver had to go in for a drug screen.

so I got to drive him to the peepee store. and along the way, we tried making conversation. he noticed the GIR tattoo on my leg, and asked who it was. this got us into a conversation about cartoons and animation, which eventually led to asian animation.

him: "I don't like that japanese crap. all that pokemon and stuff just bothers me."
me: "there's a lot more to anime than thirty minute commercials for shitty card games. have you seen akira? or ghost in the shell?"
him: "haven't heard of those. I did see one amazing japanese movie a few months back, however. it wasn't a typical japanese movie, it was very americanised. have you seen 'kung fu hustle'?"
me: "that's chinese. and it's spoofing the chinese kung fu movie. chow does flicks like that all the time. he isn't pandering to an american audience."
him: "it's chinese? oh, well it was still really good."

now, I like to poke fun at miyuki about her being korean or chinese or whatever, but I know the difference. it baffles me that someone could think that kung fu hustle was japanese. and this is a guy who has lived all over the world, in the military...

another example was the logic used by the counter guys here... we're on the eastside, and we have a showroom that caters to high end rich housewives who want to renovate their bathrooms for tens of housands of dollars. these hundred pound women drive in with their fifty thousand dollar, six ton SUVs, and of course they can't park the bloody things. so if I'm coming back from lunch and there's no parking, you can bet your ass it's because some rich-bitch housewife has her sports utility tank parked over two spaces. and I'm not allowed to march upstairs and tell these women that if they can't park it, they shouldn't drive it.

furthermore, I've been told that some people NEED to drive things like hummers. I argue from a utilitarian tack, saying no one needs a vehicle that doesn't fit inside standard parking spaces and guzzles gas at a rate of three miles per gallon. they all seem to confuse WANT and NEED. in their little peabrains, some people NEED to drive those glaring status symbols...

it's no coincidence that I've only ever seen one person at this branch read a book. and even then, they're trash novels... but at least it's reading. the only thing my boss ever reads is BILLIONAIRE YACHT magazines... he's completely obsessed with paul allen's boat, and no one can figure out why.

I really want out of here... spent much of the weekend watching sports night and scrubs dvds. and I can't possibly express how badly I want the sort of buddy dynamic I see on tv. where's the dan rydell to my casey mccall? the turk to my jd?

stupid game.

I've decided to get in the mood for hockey again... only means at my disposal was playing NHL 05 on my playstation2. despite swearing I'd never play it ever again.

playing dynasty mode with the canucks. by the end of the first season, the only regular I have left is matt cooke, which is odd. he's quite good in the game. everyone else was gone. replaced by younger, cheaper, better players like rick dipietro and kari lehtinen is goal, pavel datsyuk, saku koivu and patrice bergeron up the middle, and wingers like rick nash, marion gaborik and jarome iginla. it's amazing how stupid the computer is when you throw in a draft pick.

my goal for the first season? make the conference finals. that's funny, when was the last time they 'nucks made the conference finals? '94? I barely squeak in... simulating the games, of course. next season? win the stanley cup. and I do. season three? win the stanley cup AND the presidents trophy as the league's best team. I get the cup, but finish 4th best (forget the fact that I was first the previous season). so I'm given a warning. one more "Failure" and I'm fired, the game is over.

next season? again, cup and presidents trophy. my team goes a miraculous 59-20-2-1. everything's cool, right? three straight cups, leagues best team two our of the past three years. not bad for a four year run.

my goal for season 5? I must have the player who wins the maurice richard trophy on my roster. this is the guy who scores the most goals. it's almost always a player on a weak team that leans on one guy for everything. it's also a preposterous demand for an "owner" to make... I could conceivably win four straight cups and get fired for not meeting the demands of my boss.

EA sports has some real morons programming their games...

sigh.

the worst part about privateering internet over the wi-fi is you're at the mercy of the unknowing providers going on vacation and turning off their modems. at least I hope that's the case. if they flat out moved, I'm pooched.

and I call it "privateering" because it's not really PIRATING... if you leave an unprotected wi-fi broadcast out there, you're asking for people to use it.

just sucks 'cos now all my internetting has to be done at work. which means I'm in here on a saturday. you know, "working"...

assholish consequences.

gee, I don't think I'm very popular at work lately.

as predicted, I was shrugged off when I confronted the moron about his fuckups. he then went on to say he hopes I don't talk to people like that in alaska, as they'd likely leave me to die in the tundra. I countered that such idiocy is likely not to exist in such a harsh climate. I wouldn't need to yell at morons, because they should all be long dead of exposure or bear maulings.

I mentioned the need for more discipline to my "manager," as I'm obviously not getting anywhere. he told me it was inappropriate to yell at them, and I need to just "remove myself from the situation"... I told him that should be handled in three or four weeks.

between idiot warehouse people that can't do their very simple jobs properly to delivery drivers who get upset if they actually have to make more than one truck run in an eight hour day to showroom personnel that completely disregard protocol to a "manager" that might put in a full six hours on a good day, I'm having difficulty finding things I'll miss about this place.

and I'm sure I'll be accused of having a bad attitude because of "short timer syndrome"... what they fail to recognise is the decision to move was directly caused by the work environment getting unbearable over the past couple months... they've got the causality backwards.

reason #68 why I want the hell out of this branch.

one of my warehouse monkeys fucked up FIVE TIMES today on receiving procedures. they hate it when I call them monkeys, but in reality, they are little more than marginally trained monkeys. this guy has been here almost a year now, doing the exact same job the entire time, and he fucks up on nearly a daily basis. the same mistakes every time, too.

one instance of him not properly filing paperwork, leaving it lying out in the warehouse somewhere.

twice forgetting to transfer product over from the packing slip to the receiving copy, and then neglecting to receive the product in the computer.

one PO's paperwork stapled in such random order I suspect he just tossed it all up in the air and stapled it how it landed, contrary to the format he's supposed to staple it in (packing slip, bill of lading, receiving paperwork).

one slip of paperwork tossed in that should have been put in the garbage, as it was a copy of something received on a previous day.

am I anal about this? yes. but that's my job. I'm held accountable for every single piece of product that comes through this branch, and I'm the first to admit I have a crap memory. this means I rely extensively on a thorough and proper paper trail. a receiving clerk should understand this. a monkey, obviously, does not.

in the morning, I'll yell at him. he'll give it a dr. hibberd-esque laugh, shrug it off and tell me to "go back to sleep"... and then we'll repeat the process all over again.

a chain is only as strong as its weakest link? what if every link is the weakest?

I can't wait to get the hell out of here...

reason #52 why I want the hell out of this branch.

as much as the warehouse monkeys piss me off with their mistakes, I can handle those... most of them are kids, early 20s, get paid shit and just don't care. what pisses me off more is the showroom girls. they have years of experience and should know better. yet when they fuck up, it costs a LOT more... perfect example I stumbled across today:

special order fireclay sink. we sell it to the customer for about $800. it normally costs us about $550. we make great profit margin because it's a special order showroom thing. stupid showroom girl gets a tracking number, is told it was delivered. she can't find it, and rather than asking for help, orders another sink. this time she orders it not from the vendor, but from another supplier, which means we pay about $725 for it. the original sink is received the next day.

the second, much more expensive sink arrives a week later and is delivered to the customer, at a profit of 10%. the original sink, which we could have sold for 45% profit, is now doomed to sit in my inventory forever, being a special order item. I can either sit on it, praying for someone to take it off my hands a year down the road, all the while paying the 2% fee my corporate office charges for inventory costs ($11 a month for however many months, which ultimately comes off my final profit margin), or send it back to the vendor at a 25% restock fee ($137.50). if the sink leaves here in less than a year, I lose less money than paying the restock fee. if it's here longer than a year, I'm better off taking the one time hit.

either way, when you factor in the hundred plus dollars to our original cost on the second sink, I'm in the neighbourhood of $850 for a sink I just sold to the customer for $800. can you do the math, kids? I just lost $50, a net loss of $300 in profit, all because that dumb bitch thinks she can do my job. she managed to turn a 45% profit margin into a a negative 10% hit on the branch, and ultimately my salary. and this happens all the time.

it's no wonder this branch is struggling...

dumbass.

linky

just got an email at work announcing a memorial fund for the nephew of a girl in the company. simply said her 12 year old nephew was struck by a car and killed, and they had set up the fund for the family.

it didn't bother to mention the kid died because he was a damn dumbass. shooting illegal bottle rockets into traffic in a sketchy part of town, and then blindly bolting into traffic to try to elude the pissed off driver who's chasing you down...

granted, the guys chasing them weren't exactly in the right. but to ask for donations of money to the family, especially without disclosing the cause of the accident, seems a bit lame. I'm chalking it up to social darwinism and I'll sleep fine at night.

as miyuki would say: poopdog.

turns out I won't be going to anchorage next week. the financial logistics involved dictate a two weeks turn around, which wuld put me in alaska while miyuki gets grilled by the US guvment. since she's asked me to be there for her trip to the consulate (I doubt it's because she wants to use me for sex on the interviewer's desk to prove our relationship, as one of my coworkers recommended), this postpones my junket (heh, I love that word) north until august 4. I'll fly out thursday morning and return VERY late saturday night. airfare, hotel and rental car will be paid for. imagine I might even get beered and dined by the branch manager while I'm visiting as well. I'll spend much of friday at the branch and saturday exploring the city before flying home. I won't get to bed until about 4am sunday.

this also means miyuki will be a canadian resident an extra week, as we won't be able to move her down until the weekend of the 12th. she's kinda grumbly about working an extra week, and understandably so.

oh well. at least I'm getting a free trip out of the deal.

I like beer.

so I met up the district manager for anchorage last night. we talked for nearly an hour over a couple beers. he was drinking guinness, I had mac and jacks. it always impresses me when people drink guinness fast. it takes me three hours to finish one...

anyway, he made one hell of a sales pitch. and if there were no strings attached, I'd be flying up there today to take the job. but there are strings, and I have to factor in miyuki's happiness as well as familial obligations. makes it a tough decision.

we never talked numbers. I told him the decision will be mostly financial, but he said he'd need to clear it through the higher ups. he did say there would be more money for taking the position (more responsibility and a promotion) and a bit extra for going north. but I don't know how much he was talking about. ideally, it would be a thousand a month. it could very well be an extra hundred a month. but I doubt I'd even consider anything less than five hundred extra.

they are going to fly me up there sometime next week for a couple days. my first junket. airfare and hotel will be paid for, probably a rental car and maybe even meals. I also imagine some of the people from the branch will even do a little something. it's such a weird position for me to be in. I've always had to basically beg for jobs and take whatever was offered. they won't be flying miyuki up, but that may be better anyway. the logistics of getting her up there would be difficult...

oddly, my biggest concern if I do go up there is the cats. how the hell am I gonna get them up there? I've heard horror stories about flying with pets. but I also don't want to leave them behind... I know at least one person who would take them in for the duration of our stay up there, but I'd miss the little fuckers.

there are so many things factoring into this. one is miyuki's willingness to stay in the states longer than anticipated. we could be stateside for five years instead of two. if so, this is a wise move. it's also for the same position I interviewed for in BC, which would definitely strengthen my position when we do end up back there... two years of experience would go a long way towards getting a lot more money.

mostly tho, I just want to go somewhere different, see what's like to not live in the pacific NW and get out from under my parents' shadow.

the system works. barely.

finally got my refund cheque for the court SNAFU from like eight years ago. I now have a cheque for $83 that has "BAIL REFUND" in big letters across it. reminded me of what I thought had come from a KEvin Smith movie (it sounds sooo much like banky or randal), but I guess is from a book called Eureka Street...

"He advertises giant dildos (of which he has only one) in a sleazy newspaper, banks all the cheques and postal orders he receives, then mails to everyone who has sent money in refund cheques with the words Giant Dildo Refund stamped on them. 'Can you honestly imagine,' he says, 'anyone toddling down to their bank to lodge a cheque that has Giant Dildo Refund stamped all over it? Isn't capitalism wonderful?'"

pinched that from a review I found online. it's amazing what you find when you type "giant dildo refund" into google. anyway, I don't recall ever reading that book (nor even hearing of it), so I imagine there was some pilfering involved. either the source I heard it from stole it from this book, or vice versa. oh well. funny story either way...

and you know damn well I'm gonna be depositing this cheque. "bail" my ass... kinda hard to show up in court if they never send you the notice. cocksuckers.

stuck between a rock and a dilemma.

things just got a bit more interesting on the job front. I heard back from my dad's boss, the southern district manager. of all the DMs, I know him best and get along with him well. and he is, in fact, opening a new store south of portland in september. and he said I'd be a great fit for it. two of the people in the running to manage it I know and get along with as well. there wouldn't be much more money (in all likelihood I take a small pay cut due to state income tax), but portland is a great city and my family would be nearby. job prospects for miyuki would be a lot better as well. basically, it's a better non-work situation. the job itself would still be challenging and a good experience too.

so I'm thinking my price for moving to anchorage just went up. I'm meeting with the DM for anchorage wednesday night. at a bar. we're gonna discuss everything then, so I imagine that's when numbers will finally surface. if he blows me away, I'm still willing to take anchorage. miyuki and I both see it as a challenge and an interesting change of pace. it will be tough tho, as it means we'd be cut off from friends and family. butif we can put in two years up there and bank enough money to buy a house somewhere, it'll be worth it.

I just have to decide what my magic number is gonna be. before I had figured if they could make my base salary what my total earnings were last year (including bonus and OT, a raise of about $5k a year) it would be worth it. now tho, I'm thinking I might hold out for $10k more. knowing I can fall back on portland and still be wanted down there gives me a lot of leverage. and I don't even need to worry about burning bridges, as I've been very candid about only heading north for the right package, and the southern DM is the one that recommended me anyway... it's not like he'd be "stealing" me or anything...

guess we'll see what happens wednesday night.

fuck it's cold.

so I have a potential job offer in anchorage. financial end of it isn't sussed out yet, but it's a definite growth opportunity and will fast track me to one of the high paying jobs in my company (outside sales or management). if I go to alaska for two years, I'll set myself up nicely for an $80k a year job when I'm thirty.

I'm scared to death of moving to alaska. in the winter there's less than six hours of daylight. it's below freezing nearly seven months of the year. driving to see family is out of the question.

but I look at the people I know who HAVE forced themselves to uproot and move to different parts of the world, hell, even different parts of the continent, and they're better people for it. they've got better stories and a better idea of who they are. they've seen things most people don't see.

the summers in alaska are supposed to be the best on earth. I've been told the four months of summer even makes the eight months of winter worth bearing.

but mostly, it's just for two years. it's an opportunity to bank some extra money. see a different part of the world. experience a different culture. get mauled by a bear. I'm leaning towards doing it. I've been stuck in a rut lately, and I've felt like a bit of a pussy for not taking any risks with my life. even if I decide to leave the company in two years to go back to canada, it'll be valuable experience.

miyuki's on board, which helps. knowing I won't be going anywhere alone is comforting. still scares the crap out of me tho...

so anyone wanna provide some pointers on how to deal with the cold?

so, so wrong...

just saw a commercial that described dark water as "the most original movie of the year"...

man, you KNOW hollywood sucks ass when a REMAKE is the most original movie they can release...

idiots.