hol-eeee shit.

this weekend has made my brainmeats hurt.

first, miyuki and I went to see the al gore movie, an inconvenient truth at a free screening sponsored by myspace. I found the link to it on accident (it wasn't well advertised at all), so we went. depressing ass movie. I came out of it the same way I came out of the corporation... he tried to make it seem like there was hope and everything, how we have the power to change the world for the better, but in reality we're doomed. I guess it'll at least be interesting to see if that "hundreds of millions of refugees" thing happens... and how lame the US is for not joining kyoto, maybe it'll spawn some sort of revolution...

then my friend toby dropped the bombshell that after nearly thirty years of fairly ardent atheism, he's found jebus. this has taken pretty much everyone aback, I think. personally, I look(ed) to toby as a sort of atheist hero of mine... when I first met him, he and graeme were sitting at the SFU secular humanist club booth quoting simpsons references about the bible. at that point I knew I had found a home. back then I was a wishy-washy agnostic, but sec-hum was sort a spiritual fight club for me, and after a few weeks my views had firmed up "as if they'd been carved from wood"... toby switching teams has me wondering about a lot of shit.

and the ultimate mindfuck coup de grace was going to see a scanner darkly at SIFF... midnight movie, overly tired; with a vietnamese coffee, coke blak and complimentary jones soda energy drink (read: cherry flavoured concentrated evil); and a headache I hadn't been able to kick all day... add all this up, and my head REALLY hurt after watching this rotoscope masterpiece. and yes, I'm calling it a fucking masterpiece. it was gorgeous, the acting was incredible, and philip k dick was brilliant.

we got home about 2am, and I was ready to drop. it was four hours past my bedtime, and I could barely keep my eyes open... and despite all the caffeine and shit, I was ready to sleep (caffeine doesn't keep me awake). I couldn't. for THREE HOURS I was stuck tossing and turning, feeling physically disturbed by what I had seen. going over and over in my head what was real and what was hallucination... it was a similar mindfuck to the first time I saw the matrix, but multiplied by about a thousand... miyuki and I need to go see it again, in a hopefully more lucid state to see if that helps. but as far as the initial experience goes, I think all those factors listed above actually added to the surreal experience...

I gotta go get that book, and pronto. dick is one of those authors I've read VERY little of, and I should rectify that.