blah.

been in a rut lately. not really sure why. work has been annoying me, so I didn't go in today. slept in instead, did some chores around the house, ran some errands... just needed a day away from the office where I wouldn't have to do anything. yeah, the weekend is a couple days away, but with miyuki and I in different countries, our weekends aren't exactly relaxing. we always try to cram everything into those two days. this weekend, for instance, we're going to see two movies (batman and howl's moving castle), and probably going for sushi as well. I'm hoping to save money this weekend, so I'll probably be cooking more than normal too.

I've been on a bit of a half-assed health kick lately too. still not exercising much, which is bad. but I am trying to eat better. been eating a lot of tofu over the past few months, and have made dinner out of a giant bowl of edamame several times. I've been trying to eat more fish and less red meat, and when I order pizza I usually stick to just cheese and veggies. today I bought a big bag of smokehouse almonds too. I blame the incessant ad campaign blue diamond has during mariners games on the radio, but think a lot of it is also after-effects of my dad's heart attack a couple months ago. this is just weird because normally I'm not a nut person. I'll eat cashews or pistachios, maybe peanuts, but that's it.

I've been wondering if this rut feeling is permanent. I'm getting to the age where I'm not a kid anymore. hell, I'm nearly thirty, I've been in the workforce full time over five years. I look at my family, and they're not social either. my sister and her husband have three kids, so their entire lives revolve around kids and work. my parents know a few couples that they see a few times a year, but otherwise it's just them and family. I wonder if this is miyuki's and my fate. neither of us are overly social. there are a few people we see on a somewhat regular basis in seattle, but I have a feeling when she moves down, it'll mostly just be us and the cats.

I'm actually getting to the point where I feel out of place in gatherings. I don't know if it's just my little cycle and I'm ostracising myself (which I am) that makes things awkward, or if it's that I don't drink as much anymore, or if I'm just getting old. parties don't appeal to me much anymore. I just feel like I'm settling into a grown-up routine, and I damn well better accept it 'cos it won't be changing. and the sad bit is, I'm so apathetic to the idea I'll probably just let it wash over me, and I'll wake up tomorrow at age 60...

but hey, at least my heart should be okay from all the soy beans, fish and almonds...