the selfish gene.

I've got a little deal worked out with the warehouse monkeys that work for me. if they fuck up, and I have to fix their mistake, they owe me a beer. if it's a legitimate problem, I figure that's my job to take care of. but the piddly little shit that they should handle themselves, but make me do, I punish them for.

tonight, I collected some outstanding debts. several beers later, and I'm feeling no pain.

it was noticed, however, that I was the only one in attendance not to have sired an heir. there were seven of us there, all male, and I the only to not have successfully passed on their seed. three are young (30 or younger) and have children out of wedlock, one has a daughter of 15 he has raised, one is in his early sixties and been married three times, the last admitted his two children were losers (one a doper, the other a convicted sex offender). all of them have come to the conclusion I know not what I speak because I have experienced childhood firsthand.

I'm perfectly content with that. I don't mind people telling me it's a copy out to not want children because I can't guarantee they'll turn out okay. I figure I'm a disappointment to my parents for not living up to their expectations, and they're much better parents than I could hope to be. I couldn't handle a child of mine blowing up his or her school, which these days seems a very real threat. but more concerning to me is the fact that I doubt I could love a cheddarbrain. if I somehow sired an idiotchild, I could not live with it. and I've seen other people do this firsthand, they seem to hate their children.

and yet, I've never heard anyone formally state any regrets about their children. this seems odd to me. if parenting a child causes such horrible grief to someone financially, or even physically, why is it they swear they couldn't possibly imagine a better life without the offending sprog?

yet what surprises me most of all is despite my near constant stream of of derogatory things to say about children (I really do hate children, they bother me, and did even when I was a kid), and my reservations about my ability to be a good father, everyone tells me to shut up and breed. why? why would you want to encourage someone who doesn't want or like children, and doubts they could parent one properly, to breed anyway?

lots of weird drunk talk tonight, due to my need to argue everything. it should go without saying that my theory of "suicide is the highest form of autonomy" didn't go over well... everyone agreed that euthanasia of pets is humane, and most even agreed that the euthanasia for people suffering from terminal disease with no hope of cure is also kosher. but a perfectly healthy, rationally thinking person that would rather not live? they're selfish and shouldn't be allowed to die. even after condemning those that decide to paint their bedroom walls using their brains and a shotgun, and making an argument for making your peace with family, friends and loved ones, and killing oneself in a painless and non-traumatic (to the survivors) method... nope, it's selfish. personally, I don't feel people who off themselves are tragic victims. I figure they understand a lot more than we do about what's going on in this world, and they want no part of it. I can understand that.

but then again, I wouldn't want to bring another child into this world. it's a fucked up, nasty place. I'm not saying we should go around killing people against their will, but why discourage the people that want to go of their own volition? and why try to convince those against breeding to contribute to the overpopulation problems?

people are dumb.