I feel dirty.

I believe I have just witnessed the post-coital skulking of a redneck mating ritual.

came into work this morning to get in some overtime and get caught up on my cycle counting. well, at least to get less behind on my counting...

get here, and our skeazy white trash female dispatcher's truck is still here. she was supposed to go out drinking with us last night and never made it. now I know why.

there have been murmurs of a forbidden tryst going on between said dispatcher and our boss for several weeks now. furtive glances, conveniently overlapping lunch breaks, special treatments and favoritism, and an unusually large amount of extracurricular activities on boss' part with her (he rarely if ever does anything with any other coworkers outside of work, to maintain his authority I suppose). this kinda seals it tho.

so of course the first thing I did upon arriving here is shrinkwrap her truck. the obvious motive for this is that it's a childish prank. however, the motive I'm sure neither of them picked up, was to stall their skulking ritual. and it worked. I just happened to be walking past the front door as they were preparing to leave. sans-prank, they would have escaped unnoticed, and I would have no proof of their actions.

instead, I have boss' car parked next to her pickup, him wearing sweats (oh, so flattering!) and her appearing to be partaking in the walk of shame, wearing the official team colours of YesterClothes.

this is such a bad idea, I don't even know where to begin. but I have a feeling the sexual harassment lawsuit that was filed last month against on of my boss' fraternal managers, a man who was poking his secretary despite his wife also working for the company, would be a good place to start.

the worst part about this is if they're not capable, the white trash hellspawn their zygotes would combine to form could be enough to kickstart the apocolypse. these are precisely the parental components you do NOT want breeding...

I need to go home and shower. with steel wool.