one more reason to hate humanity in general...

I check craigslist's strictly platonic section a few times a week. we've made some new friends that way, so I thought I'd keep at it just to diversify our lot. unfortunately, I keep seeing the same people's ads over and over... one of some frat boy looking for other idiots he can relive his college days with, drinking kegs of beer and lighting his own farts. the other is quote below. I have seen it no less than four times...

"Looking for Gay Hommies - m4m - 30

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Reply to: pers-281371707@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-02-19, 4:05PM PST

To join you'll have to pass a rigorous test. We can't tell you our gang name, street signs, or our colors yet (but think fushcia pink girls), so you'll meet us at an undisclosed location on Capitol Hill.

First, you have to find an unsuspecting straight couple (preferably on a date) and mug them. Take their money, but only grab the wallet or purse if it is Burberry, Fendi, or something comparable. And be sure to mention that you thought [insert whatever the girl was wearing] went out two years ago.

Second, you have to mastermind a huge drug sale. This will be unbelievably easy, since you'll do it with E in the bathroom at Neighbors.

Third, you will be forced to get in a fight with one of the other gang hopefuls. The rest of us will be watching as you wrestle around, and you should be sure to tear some clothing and throw in a few light kisses and moans. I'm visually thinking seancody.com with Oliva Newton's song "Let's Get Physical" in the background.

So if you're tough enough, just email me and we can start our gang. It doesn't matter who you are or what you look like, as long as you are attractive and have a great body."

I responded with this:

"I keep seeing your ad over and over. this leads me to believe one of two things... either you're incredibly impatient, or your ad keeps getting flagged down. I'm tempted to believe it's the latter, as your ad is requesting a "gang" to perform various illegal acts. facetious or not, that sort of shit is just not a good idea...

one other bit of advice? "hommies" isn't a word. do you mean "homies"? also not a word, but at least it's phonetically correct...

try posting variations on your ad, and if you don't get any responses you like, wait a week or three and post something else. patience will make you look less desperate. most people don't troll the CL listings constantly, they just look until they find what they're after. by breaking up your posts by a week or two, you'll end up with a vastly different demographic looking at your ads. "

my reward for honest, constructive criticism? my junk mail folder has received 26 pieces of spam in the last half hour. I used to get about three pieces of spam a WEEK. considering several of them have been opt-in mailing lists addressed to "Christian Dipshit" I have a feeling I know who my culprit is.

I seriously was trying to help this worthless cocksucker. it was annoying to see the same ad over and over (with the same stupid pic from south park), and he obviously wasn't getting any responses. the guy needs brain cancer in the worst fucking way. either that or a swift lobotomy with a cricket bat.

and once again, I loathe all of humanity.