I went to a witch doctor, and this is what she said...

I hadn't had a proper physical exam since I was in high school. other than the very quick and not thorough DOT physical I had when I was 21, I hadn't seen a doctor for a regular checkup since I was seeing a pediatrician.

fortunately, I am still an ass virgin. they don't start buggering your prostate until you're 40.

but there was bad news. my cholesterol is terrible. I had my suspicions, given that I'm fifty pounds overweight and loves me the cheese and eggs. I need to get back to a gym to lose some weight, and watch my diet better. no more bacon, skimpy on the cheese, eggbeaters instead of eggs, more veggies, etc. fortunately, there is another gym within a few blocks of here, and it costs half as much as the one we quit (because it cost too much). this one doesn't have a pool or yoga classes or a basketball court. y'know, all the shit we didn't use anyway. it also doesn't have parking and free childcare, which was a paint o pay for before since we never used it. hopefully we'll stick to the gym this time, since it'll be cheaper. it's $35 a month for each of us, plus a $50 enrollment fee each. if we pay $400 upfront, we'd save a tiny amount, which doesn't seem worth it.

in all of the bloodwork the doc did, she also found I'm essentially a woman. she said the normal range of testosterone was "between 7 and 25"... I can only assume she meant milligrams. mine is at 4.5. so she prescribed a testosterone patch that I'll have to wear, likely for the rest of my life. it shoots and extra 5mg of manjuice into me each day. so far I haven't turned into the hulk, smashing things in a blind rage, nor have I had uncontrollable chubbies at awkward social moments. but hey, at least now I might be able to grow a beard. the news of me having a ridiculously low testosterone level has been of great amusement to pretty much everyone I know. because I'm a git, I have of course told everyone. hell, this coupled with going to the gym might even make my manboobs shrink a little bit...

very little else is going on. miyuki is now horribly addicted to elebits, to the point she's hallucinating seeing them beneath actual, physical structures in real life. I've started playing kickball again, and haven't made too much of an ass of myself yet. I've recorded more outs on defense than I have on offense, at least...

I also asked my boss about a raise, and he told me they want to put me in charge of my department, and that his boss would be talking to me about it shortly. it's been two weeks now. fucker isn't going to say anything, and I'm never going to get that raise. it's a bit of a joke. miyuki makes more money than I do now, despite having only been in the country less than two years. and when she originally got hired, I made over $5k a year more than her. her work is awesome, they take good care of her. mine, not so much...