my brainmeats hurt.

one of the drivers at my work scares the fuck out of me. he's really creepy. I do my best to avoid him, because he freaks me out so much. I've only had three conversations with him in two months. I'm pretty sure he has at least three bodies buried in his backyard.

the first conversation:

max: those are cool glasses.
me: thanks?
max: you should get them tinted so no one can see your eyes!
me: uhhh... [walks away]


second conversation, interrupting me talking with boss:

max: I need to go to the dentist, and I don't have my insurance card yet. who do I call?
boss: beth in human resources.
max: what's her number?
boss: 1-2-3-4.
max: is that all I have to dial?
me: it's [actual number].
max: wow, you have that memorized?
me: I used to work at corporate, and can remember numbers easily.
max: I don't even know my phone number. I know both of my library card numbers though!
me: uhhhh... [walks away]


the third one, and perhaps the most surreal, happened today on the phone:

max: hello?
me: max, this is christian. are you still in auburn?
max: christian... [last name]?
me: yes. are you in auburn still?
max: I don't know where I am.
me: are you anywhere near sumner? I need to pick up some pallets at our DC in sumner.
max: I'm next to Lowe's hardware.
me: in auburn?
max: sumner... washington?
me: yes. are you near there?
max: no, I'm back in seattle.
me: nevermind. [hangs up]

there are several problems with this conversation... the first is, how many people named "christian" are calling this fucker on his work-provided nextel? it's not exactly a common name. in fact, of the 400+ employees in my entire company, I'm the only one named "christian". second, why would anyone assume "sumner" to refer to anything OTHER than the town called sumner twenty miles from seattle, for a conversation in seattle? especially when I told him I needed something at our DC. in sumner. washington. and third, why the fuck does a professional truck driver not know where the hell he is while making a delivery?